Posted by Katie
on December 06, 2000 at 22:31:48:
I am back here again as I knew I would be and since I know that there are no words that you can say nor no cure out there this message is for the purpose of venting only. It may fall on deaf ears since so many of you are sick of hearing people rant I dont know cuz it serves no purpose I know. I really truly dont want to live anymore and I am sooooooooooooo ANGRY that this acne shit has and will continue to ruin my life and when I am 50 years old and on my deathbed do you know what the thing that will stand out in my life? ACNE. When my life flashes before my eyes, and I invision things that I always wanted to do or whatever do you know what pitiful thing it will be? No, not skydiving or visiting France, it will be HAVING NORMAL SKIN. Thus I do not even have a life period because of acne. Cystic, scarring infecting freakin acne. I want to live. We have only one freakin chance at this...one life only...why am I being cheated out of it???????? I know yes I do pity myself. I admit it. I am almost 30 years old God Damnit. I have a child, a husband. I want to be there for them damnit. But nooooooo, This skin bullshit consumes my days and nights. It the past it has reduced me to tears but nowadays I am too angry to even cry. I think I have a psychological, mental whatever problem from all this. I am a sensitive person on top of this but one can only take so much, so many years of having a disease that is on the face and so visible and so ugly. I have dreams about scraping my skin off, I fantasize about taking a razor blade and just scraping as hard as I can. I will never do it obviously, heck I cant even stand the sight of blood. You know it seems so simple, like that we could do SOMETHING to rid our skin of some bothersome bumps right? I mean, they can go into your body and move your organs around and perform miraculous surgeries but yet, they cannot rid peoples faces of some bumps! ARGG. Hugs to you all and God bless(If he's still there).