Posted by Ron The Mon
on January 01, 2000 at 11:30:58:
In Reply to: Re: ADD?WO posted by Joe Stanford on October 12, 1999 at 13:35:02:
: I am 54 years old and I have had a text book case of ADD without hyperactivity all of my life. In 1993 I found out I had ADD. I had never heard of it before. I thought I was just dumb and so did everyone else I had ever come in contact with including my Mother, my Step Father and 2 brothers. I always did well on aptitude and IQ tests but I got horrible grades in school although I did well in subjects I liked, mainly anything to do with writing. I was the editor of my school newspaper. When I showed my mother the school newspaper with my name printed as editor, she just mumbled something and walked away. My father died when I was 6 weeks old. I know almost nothing about him. From the few things I have heard he was a lot like me personalitywise. My mother remarried a man who eventually became a career Navy enlisted man. I went to 17 different schools from kindergarten thru high school. The school I graduated from I only attended for 3 months. I also am far sighted and wore extremely thick eyeglasses. Farsightedness causes the eyes to be distorted and appear to be much larger that they are. I also had chronic asthma as a child. Changing schools and moving was extremely traumatic to me or anyone with ADD W/O. I actually am a really nice funloving caring person. but no one sees this at first. All they saw was that the new kid with the thick glasses was "drifty" and always making mistakes and displaying all of the common traits of ADD w/o all of which are negativiely stereotyped by our society. No one wants to be associated with a dork. So I usually had no friends. Girls did not want to go out with me. My parents were alcoholics and my mother disliked me intensely and let me know whenever she got a chance. She thought I was a homosexual and because I didn't date girls and told everyone including our next door neighbor who told her two sons who were about my age who told the whole school. She also told my relatives aunts, uncles, cousins and all.
: I could go on and on with this but the point I'm trying to make is how horrible an experience ADD w/o can be especially if undiagnosed and without parental and family support. Your son does not have a deficit or a disorder. Most of the important people who did things to change the world are believed to have had ADD. On the other hand a large percentage of criminals in our prisons are believed to have ADD. In my case my parents gave me no support or encouragement. I was truly a lost soul living in a society that rejects people like me. Please don't do this to your son. He can either be another Thomas Edison or he can be a Charles Manson or he can be a miserable person like me with no friends living in a portion of society that very cruely rejects people like me. I hope to be able to pull myself up by my bootstraps and getl myself out of this quagmire that I've been foundering in all of my life.
Joe, Hi! Ron here, guess I feel like I know you, a bit older, and I have survived my ADD OK thanks to a loving and needy wife. hang in there, I'm 57 and finally finding my way into a new kind of life. I have started to avoid al the extra stimulation that can bring me down, just got off one addiction (See Addult ADD and sexual addiction) am living out in the country, and have learned to control my ADD with drugs, therapy, and a change of life style. The slow rural life is better for me. Please feel free to drop me a line.