Posted by From Jade
on January 22, 2000 at 21:45:50:
In Reply to: Problems with School System posted by Nicky on November 06, 1999 at 22:50:34:
I have three sons. Two have ADD/HD and the other
has ADD. My oldest is going to be 21 soon--he took medication for 6 years-- toughing it out at school--on an IEP, etc. He finally ended up quiting school when he turned 18---- because he(WE) couldn't get the help through school he needed.I tried all the avenues we were told to-----counseling , special ed., etc. But, if you can't get the help and support from teachers, principals, etc. what else can one do? When my second son was diagnosed with ADD---- I thought "WHAT are you talking about??????" He was nothing like my oldest son who would sit and pick ar his fingers and hands and pull pieces of flesh off unitl it bled and pnly then would he even notice he was doing it. When his hands and feet were so sore, if he had his shoes off, he'd pick at his feet and do the same thing. WHAT??? My middle son with ADD?? Np way. He was quiet----polite- helpful----all that. It took me a long time to admit that he truly did have ADD--and only after reading a book about ADD without hyperacticity. We tried medication ONE time for him, and it MADE him like my oldest son-----he seemed to be EVERYWHERE. You couldn't slow him down for hours? He couldn't sit, play, or do anything that was quiet. Never again was any child of mine going to take Ritalin. Then comes my last son. I saw in him when he was very small my oldest son----only wores. When kids are little and have ADD/HD-have you found people to say----Look how interested he is in that (whatever it was)----OR--He's so smart-look how he is working on that----OR----When he takes something apart , look how he is seeing how that works-----But what do they say when they grow up? Stop tearing things apart-leave things alone Can't you sit still and be quiet??-on and on and on-----Back to my youngest son-sorry--anyway, I fought our doctor for three years against putting him on Ritalin. I just knew that IF I could get the school to help him, since I knew more about the help they had to provide for kids with special needs (HA!)-- I was determined not to put him on medicine. So, David suffered all that time. He wasn't disruptive in school, he didn't fight, he wasn't abusive to other students or teachers. He was just the opposite. BUT, he couldn't get his work done on time-he couldn't keep up with the class- he was ALWAYS behind the other kids. He had average-to above average intelligence so no one in school would accept that he needed more help and more time. Instead, he was put in the hall almost every day to do his work --RIGHT! THAT was really helpful! I finally "broke down" and agreed to TRY Ritalin for a short time. He was a completely different child then. He stopped "picking" his fingers like his brother did, etc. He went from not finishing work to getting A's and B's, etc. After he was on it for some time, the doctor wanted to see how he would do during the summer without it. We tried for a short time. He told me he "felt like his insides were falling out" and also that he "felt like a wild animal" without his medication. He begged to go back on it. So, he is taking it again. I hope he doesn't have to do this all his life, but sometimes we have to accept certain things to survive. If you are still reading this, thanks for your patience and time. ADD/HD is had for our children, yes, and it is hard for those around them, too. Maybe this can help someone.
Every day is tough, but I love my boys and have to help them grow up the best they can.