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Posted by Kim B on February 26, 2000 at 21:41:16:

In Reply to: out of the mists....out of the blue posted by Sue on February 26, 2000 at 18:58:45:

: Been lurking for 10 days now hopeing somebody would post usuable info for me
: but I guess it isn't going to happen.

: The school called a meeting with me last week and wants to test my daughter
: for ADD. This kind of came as a bolt out of the blue.

: She's 7 yrs old, in the second grade. Her work is good. She is not
: disruptive but busy. She does have trouble writing on the lines and her
: handwriting is messy. She does have trouble with spelling and reading.
: Reading teacher says she's behind but only a tiny bit. All teachers and aids
: do say she is not a candidate for retention. The concern is mainly with her
: small motor skills.

: The school intends to start testing after vacation this week.

: I'm trying to take a "wait and see" attitude as far as the testing goes but
: I'm totally nervous now. The school psychologist is famous for his ritalin
: giving. There is a very disproportionate number of kids on meds in the
: school. Some of the grades have over half!!!

: I do see what they are pointing out as far as her writing and spelling. Some
: of her actions at home suggest ADD as well. Chances are I am ADD been
: reading some of the stuff out there and it all fits, way too well. Haven't
: taken it all in yet but I now have a name for my demon.

: I asked the school if a tutor would help and they said no. Nothing wrong
: with her work. I live near a teachers college and it would be easy to find
: an elementary ed. student to come for a little twice a week and help her
: with writing and spelling.Almost seemed liked the special ed teacher had
: already made up her mind.
: She seems to be able to spell most times if I give the words to her orally
: but putting them to paper she falters. An outside person would be fun to her
: and she would look foward to something like that.

: I want only the best for her but I'm scared.
: What do I watch for as far as the school goes?
: What do I watch for with her?

: My daughter is more pressing but where do I get help for myself?
: I'm 41 yrs old. None of this exsisted when I was a kid. Only the really
: disruptive kids were looked at. I was in the top 5% in the school system as
: far as intelligence goes so a breezed through most of my years unoticed. My
: teen years hit and I spun out of control.
: It's blown my college education, got me thrown out of HS, messed up good
: jobs.

: My daughter is set. Her father has very good insurance through the state.
: Unfortunatley we are not married and I have nothing.
: I have noticed that I am withdrawing more in the last year. Getting worse
: almost like when I was a teen again. I still function but really would
: rather never leave the house. Used to be a cop and froze up when the chief
: tried to make me do a radio commercial. He shipped me off to psychiatrist
: who specializes in cops and the Dr said I was a social phobic. Nothing
: horrid. Just extremely shy. I fought my phobia by learning how to dispatch
: the different police cars in our area and I probably could do a radio
: commercial now without a problem but that's just the tip of the iceberg and
: over and done with.
: Now I work at Dunkin Donuts and barely make enough to make ends meet.
: Chances are daughter's father is ADD to. He won't contribute even an opinion
: to any of this. He lives with us but doesn't deal with anything. Withdraws
: into his little fantasy world he has made. Ocassionally he comes out with
: flashes of brilliance or energy but nothing ever comes of it.

: Now what??????

: Sue
: who has done more reading in the last 10 days than in the last 10 yrs.

Dear Sue, My daughter-now 9, was having a lot of the same problems as your daughter..beginning also in the 2nd grade. When her teacher suggested she be tested for ADD, I was shocked. "Those" kids have such bad labels, especially on meds ie: Ritalin etc. I had a real difficult time accepting this. School physchologist tested her, she's very smart (which we already knew). but has a VERY diffficult time staying "on-task", & is very easily distracted & frustrated.
School psychologist suggested trial of Ritalin. Had testing done through our own Dr., he also suggested same...what a heart-wrenching decision to make. My husband I discussed pros & cons of Ritalin at great lengths; did a LOT of research. A lot of what we found did scared us. Anyhow, we decided to try it for 2 months to see what happened. What a difference!! She's much more attentive, can stay on task, PARTICIPATES in class discussions, self-confidence improved, can easily complete work/homework on time. School is so much easier for her now that she's not so frustrated all the time.
Needless to say, she's in 4th grade now, & doing very well. She's had NO side effects of the's unreal the difference this medicine has made for her. We are still using the same dosage after 2 years, 10mg 2 times day.
If you'd like to discuss further, you may e-mail me at Kim

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