Posted by Kellie
on May 09, 2000 at 00:10:18:
In Reply to: Re: RE: SORRY TO BE SO HARSH - KELLIE posted by Mary on May 07, 2000 at 18:14:48:
: : A CHILD IN A HALL COUNTING BRICKS WILL LEARN MATH....THEY CAN ADD, SUBTRACT, MULTIPLY AND DIVIDE THEM! IT ALSO TEACHES BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION. DO YOU THINK THEY WANT TO BE OUT IN THAT HALL?? A LESSON TAUGHT IS A LESSON LEARNED. POPPING PILLS TEACHES THAT IT'S OK TO BE ADDICTED...IT MAKES CHILDREN FEEL " DIFFERENT" IT CREATES LOW SELF ESTEEM! IT DOESN'T TEACH HOW TO COPE IN THE REAL WORLD........BUT THEN, IT'S NOT YOUR LIVER/KIDNEYS/HEART AND MIND THAT ARE BEING TAMPERED WITH! YOU WORRY ABOUT WHAT THEY EAT FOR BREAKFAST - NO DOUGHNUTS? HOW ABOUT CHEMICALS???? I'M SURE YOU OSTRACIZE SMOKERS & THINK THAT ALCOHOL SHOULD BE OUTLAWED......TAKE VITAMINS? EAT HEALTHY? EXERCISE REGULARLY FOR GOOD HEALTH? DON'T WANT DRUNK DRIVERS ON THE ROAD???? HOW ABOUT PEOPLE COMING DOWN FROM THEIR RITALIN? WITH HEADACHES AND IRRITABILITY? OR DO WE TELL THEM THAT THEIR NOT ALLOWED TO DRIVE EITHER?
: : WE ARE DOPING OUR CHILDREN! CREATING ADDICTS! WE ARE POISENING THEIR BODIES, SHORTENING THEIR LIFE SPANS AND MAKING THEM DEPENDENT ALL BECAUSE WE ARE TOO LAZY TO DEAL WITH THEM..... AND THEN, WE FEED THEM A GOOD BREAKFAST AND THINK WE'RE DOING A GOOD JOB....
: : WE NEED TO SPEND MORE TIME WITH OUR CHILDREN....PEOPLE NEED TO SLOW DOWN - TAKE LESS TIME FOR THEMSELVES....ESPECIALLY WORKING PARENTS.....WHERE IS THE QUALITY TIME?? GET THE KIDS OUT OF THE WAY.....GET ON THE PHONE OR INTERNET.....WE ARE THE ME GENERATION AND THE KIDS LEARN FROM WHAT THEY SEE IN THEIR HOMES.......THE MAGIC WORDS WERE " IN MANY CASES"
: : BUT, NOT IN MOST! YOU'RE RIGHT THAT GIVEN THE OPTION MOST KIDS WOULD EAT DOUGHNUTS FOR BREAKFAST & NOT DO HOMEWORK.... (AND GIVEN THE OPTION MOST KIDS WOULD NOT WANT TO INGEST DRUGS EITHER BUT, ARE THEY GIVEN THAT OPTION? ) DO WE SIT AND EAT BREAKFAST WITH OUR CHILDREN??? AND HAVE CONVERSATION WITH THEM?? DO PARENTS TAKE PART IN HOMEWORK TIME ANYMORE??? MY PARENTS DID......NO, WE DON'T HAVE THE TIME, RIGHT? SO WE JUST ASK? "DID YOU DO YOUR HOMEWORk?" AND THEN WE GET UPSET WHEN THEIR GRADES ARE POOR.
: : I'M SURE THAT THERE ARE KIDS OUT THERE WHO MAY BENEFIT FROM SHORT TERM "DRUGGING" BUT, THIS IS BECOMING A WAY OF LIFE....AN EASY WAY OUT.....MOST CHILDREN WILL OUTGROW THESE LEARNING DIFFICULTIES AND GO ON TO LEAD PRODUCTIVE LIVES....IF YOU JUST GIVE THEM THAT CHANCE.
: : LET'S WORK ON OUR PARENTING SKILLS AND GET TEACHERS WHO ARE QUALIFIED TO DEAL WITH "REAL" CHILDREN AND NOT DRUG INDUCED ZOMBIES.
: HMMMMMMMm you ask where the parents are?? I for one am sitting beside my ADD child struggling to get him to finish homework, struggling to get him stay on task so that he remembers what he was going to write for his next sentence. I am the parent that is chaparoning the class field trip when I don't have to work. I struggle just to get him to get dressed in the morning let alone have breakfast and then drive him to school because he rarely gets things together in time to catch the bus. I am the one who then runs back to school to take him the paper or book he left in his room even though I specficially told him to put it in his book bag. You state that he will outgrow this disease? When will that be, when he dies? My son is definate need of help and I make sure he gets the help he needs. If he were a diabetic and needed insulin and would most certainly make sure he got it when needed. Perhaps you would like to come to my house and show me just how to make my child concentrate and stay on task when working? Don't think for a minute that I am some young mother uses medication as an easy way out of my parenting responibilites. I am an older mother but also a nurse and I firmly believe in using medication but only when proper testing has been done whether it be medication for diabetes or for ADD/ADHD.
I am in the same situation as you are. I see others who DO only have to ask "did you do your homework?" but I have to not only get assignments signed so that I know that my child has brought all of the assigned work and study materials home, but also spend HOURS EACH NIGHT with my child to study for the next upcoming test. Anything that will help my child become more independent in these areas of responsibility, I will consider. The concerned grandparent says that we are raising addicts. Well, unfortunatly studies show that children and adults with ADD/ADHD will often self-medicate with dangerous street drugs and alcohol to get a feeling of control over their life. She also says they will outgrow this problem. That is many times true but the years of feeling inadequate, frustrated, and unorganized have taken their toll. Medication is not always the solution but please don't rule out its potential to help your child succeed in school rather that spending the majority of his time outside the classroom or in the principals office.