Posted by Maikel
on June 19, 2000 at 18:03:15:
In Reply to: Re: Wife of ADD Husband posted by Lisa on March 24, 2000 at 01:33:39:
I understand, too. My wife has it. Several of my childeren do, also. AND I have it. Having ADD/ADHD is not all bad. People with ADD/ADHD are usually very bright people, often very creative. Our brains in many ways work faster than other people's. So, in many ways we work better than other people in some situations. Our problems can arise when we "burn" through our brains and really feel burnt out. And really, we
are. It is like our brains are "dead" and we cannot function very well. I have seen it with my wife, my children and myself. And it is real.
It is not always easy to admit that we need help, especially if we look at ADD/ADHD as a weakness or only as a liability. We can interprupt that as a weakness, which mean that we are are weak, or we are flawed. And for guys especially that can be hard for us to deal with, because we are suppose to be "macho". If you can help him see that ADD has many positive qualities and he has been able to do many things because of it. If he can understand that he could do even more with some life skills developed for the ADD/ADHD person and medication, them having this condition will not seem to have the negative stigma.
I know, living with the ADD/ADHD person can be very challenging, and at the same time if you can see some things that are positive from your point of view, that will help you get a sense of balance for yourself. There was a great book published a few years ago. I do not know if it is still in print, but it really was one of the better books: "You Mean I am not Lazy, Crazy or Stupid." Great insights and easy to understand.
: : Help! I am worn out dealing with ADD-I try to understand and try to accommodate and compromise-try to
: : keep a sense of humor-try to "not sweat the small stuff" but it seems to be all one way. I am tired of job changes and moving-tired of conversations that last for a few seconds before he literally leaves the room-I am tired, just plain tired- any other spouses?
: I understand perfectly well what you are going through. My 8yr old son has ADHD and we think my husband has ADD , he just won't go and get tested. Does anyone have any suggestions?