Posted by Mary
on November 18, 1999 at 10:00:05:
In Reply to: Re: very worried about my friend who has ADD son posted by Toad on November 18, 1999 at 09:46:37:
: You have every right to be worried about your friend. I was diagnosed with ADD at the age of 30 and am now 36. We all go through stages when learning we have ADD. The first one is to grieve. We knew something was wrong with us, but didn't know what. I'm sure your friends son felt the same way growing up. There is also anger. It seems that he has not gotten over this aspect. First, your friend needs to contact someone that she can talk to. There are ADD groups all over the country. Look up CHADD(Children and adults with ADD). They are a nation wide support group. She needs to talk with someone to find out how to deal with her son and with her feeling that things are her fault. Her son needs counseling and probably medication. I'm not a doctor, but I've done a lot of research and have two ADD children, so I know what medication can do. However, it is not a cure. I would suggest two books as well for your friend and her son. Driven to Distraction by Edward M. Hallowell, MD. and You Mean I'm Not Lazy, Stupid, Or Crazy by Kate Kelly and Peggy Ramundo. There are many other books out there, but I found both of these to be very helpful. If I can be of any more help, please e-mail me or have you friend e-mail me. The son can email me if he wants some insight from someone with ADD.
: Good luck,
What I am wondering is why is a 22 year old still living at home?? Not that he shouldn't be but you don't say if he is in college or what? If he is working then I think the mother should either help him get a place of his own or set some rules up for him to follow since it is her house and he is of legal age. She also needs to let him know that his behavior is not appropriate and insist that he get some help for it if he wants to remain in her home. She should let him know that she will always be there for him but that his behavior will not be tolerated. I full well understand that he has ADD but lets not use that as an excuse when there is help out there for this son. Good luck.