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Posted by bob -- 21oct00 on October 21, 2000 at 19:24:54:

In Reply to: Re: Not doing so well.................. posted by To Constable Bob from Victoria on October 20, 2000 at 21:15:13:

: : I read you postings a couple of times and first off I want you to know that I take them very seriously.

: : I don't smoke anthing but have tried pot and hash in the past. Only times that I used more than once a month or so was when my wife contracted lung cancer and spent her remaining time in a hospice (3 1/2 months). There is no question that the pot allowed me to get through things without booze, pills or pitty parties. At that time it was an escape from reality for me as well as the best sleeping aid I have ever had - so I do understand why people smoke. I have friends that range from 25 - 55 who smoke most days. They are very hardworking, intelligent people who enjoy the pot better than a beer, wine or whiskey.

: : I have never seen anyone who smoked pot (and only had pot) and became beligerant or violent. I have seen hundreds of people who used alcohol become violent, withdrawn and not fun to be around. While i would not choose to spend a quality evening with someone zonked on pot or booze, if I had to pick one I would choose pot. Unfortunately, the people who have made out laws over the years enjoyed alcohol and cigarettes - made them legal - and have made pot illegal. that is a pretty major drawback - especially for someone who has a family.

: : I guess what I am trying to say is that if your husband thinks that he needs something to help him cope/relax etc. - aside from being illegal (which is a bid deal, but) I would rather have my spouse smoke pot rather than drink, use valium, crank, heroin etc. etc..

: : HOWEVER, if he is using it every night that is obviously not good. Maybe he is in agreement with you about quitting, but is afraid of not having any available? If that is so, could you start of not smoking pot say on Monday - Thursday? Agree to a certain amount on the weekend when all of your responsibilities have been looked after and try that for a few weeks? Then add Friday , Saturday or Sunday to your non-pot days. Would him smoking 2 days a week be acceptable to you? Would you rather he drank a dozen beer a night (I know that they are both bad but if you had to choose?) If he was in agreement with your plan you would have to make it clear that you won't put up with any smoking other than on the days you agree on. If he cheats then you have to decide what to do then.

: : I don't have the answers and i am not a drug counsellor but if he is going to keep smoking do you think that the above would be a better way for all of you!

: : I hope I haven't upset you in any way. I know that this is a serious thing.

: : Good luckk//Bob

: Hi Bob,

: Yes, we went that route already. Trying to "ration it", or slow down. It never worked with him. If it's in the house, it gets smoked. From the time he gets home from work, until he goes to bed. I do know a few "occasional" users, but most people I do know are addicts. The only solution for us was cold turkey. Keep in mind, we've been married over 15 years, and have both been smokers for over 20 years. No "occasional" use for us. It didn't work, but I DO appreciate your input! Thank You!

HI AGAIN;

That is a bummer that you can't do it once in a while.

I hope that someone out there has some better solutions for you than I do. What about joining a gym and becoming an excercise demon?? You do get a great high from lifting weights or distance running - AND- you have no trouble falling asleep!!

I have had a few discussions with friends about legalizing all drugs or at the very least pot.

1) Do you think that is a good idea or a bad one?

2) If it were legal, would you be upset if hubby used it then?

Good luck!! I hope that you find the answer.

BOB


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