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Posted by BOB on November 03, 2000 at 21:16:36:

In Reply to: Marijuana Addiction posted by Tina on November 03, 2000 at 11:02:48:

: I have just read some of the postings on the subject of marijuana addiction and really felt compelled to post. I am the wife of a marijuana addict. I have off and on smoked marijuana with my husband throughout our 7 years, but mostly because I hoped it would "improve" our floundering relationship. Currently, I do not smoke anymore. My husband smokes pot from the moment he wakes up to the moment he goes to bed. Yes, I have problems with the amount of money he spends on it...around $100 a week plus the cost of a carton of cigarettes. We are middle class...but only because I worked myself through nursing school because I realized he would never be motivated enough to keep a steady job or get a better job. He is currently a painter and I pray daily that he won't get fired or quit yet another job.
: That is only part of our problems. The real danger of pot smoking is that it IS an addiction. If you HAVE to smoke pot, then you are avoiding something. In our marriage, it has been that he was avoiding arguments, money probs, probs with our child...you name it and he avoids it. Makes me really wonder if life is nothing but avoiding the bad stuff then what the heck is life for with an addict??? Life is good AND bad...the bad teaches us lessons and helps us grow. I heard somewhere that a marijuana addict is mentally the age that they started smoking pot...i.e. my husband is mentally 12 yrs. old. (And I can believe that based on his behavior)
: I firmly belive that marijuana should not be legalized. My parents smoked pot, my best friend, and my husband currently smoke pot. They have no drive, no responsibility, there is always the focus on the "fun" parts of life...leaving the responsible or "un-fun" parts of life to us other halfs. I cannot express the pain I have felt over this drug. It is through sheer determination that I have stayed in my marriage. My daughter, who is 10 years old, recently found out about my husband's pot habit, and I have sunk to a lower level in her eyes right along with my husband even though I don't smoke it. Why? Because I tolerate it out of him. Yes, it is an adult issue, but it is definitely an issue for a child growing up with it too. My child realizes that the reason we don't have a nicer car or go on vacations or wear better clothes (even though her mother makes excellent money) is because her father smokes it all up.
: My last point is for those of you who say "well at least it isn't a hard drug or as bad for you as alcohol"- well, as a nurse in a Trauma ER, I can tell you that there are tons of folks out there that have died or been seriously hurt or done it to others in car accidents after smoking pot. In a car wreck, the first thing we do is drug test, and you would be surprised at how many people have horrible, deathly wrecks or accidents while stoned. I absolutely refuse to ride in the car(or allow my daughter) with my husband driving while he is stoned. Marijuana causes physical dependence and mental dependance and DOES have long term effects. Recent studies have shown that memory, motivation, dexterity skills, etc. ARE affected...even long term. So what could the possible benefit of legalization be? If the answer is "relaxation after a hard day", I suggest you consider a warm bath, a long walk, reading a book....tons of other stuff out there that doesn't hurt yourself or your loved ones, thats free, and doesn't inflict damage to others. I know marijuana usage will continue on...I'm not stupid. But to legalize it would further give people the notion that this drug is OK...
: Sorry if I have rambled on, but this subject has left me bitter over the years

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Hi Victoria and Tina;

Yes Victoria, Tina's posting did give me pause about my opinion. I have never experienced what she is going through and pray that I never will. It doesn't sound like fun.

Tina, I understand what you are saying and your argument makes alot of sense. We do have to be role models for our children and I hope that your daughter will realize that while you are staying with your husband even though he is a pot smoker, perhaps you are staying with him because you love him. Perhaps because you know how important it is for children to be raised with both parents in the household. Maybe he is a good person who has a problem, or maybe you understand what he is doing and are still working with him so that he understands his problem. I hope that at least one of these is true. It sounds like you are a go-getter and can't understand his lack of ambition!!

I do still believe that they should be legal. Either that or lets ban everything, alcohol, cigarettes, all cola products, all spray canned products, all sleeping pills, all antihistames, all diet drugs etc. etc. etc..

The list goes on and on. I think that if you are going to have a problem with a substance then you will eventually find that substance or something that is close enough. People have all sorts of addictions in this world and I believe that we are being hypocrites to our children by telling them to say no to drugs while we have a glass of scotch in our hands. WE have to be able to make our own decisions and to put someone in jail who makes a bad decision like having a drink - sorry, i mean taking a toke - just doesn't make any sense to me. PLUS with huge sums of money spent enforcing those laws can be put to use helping educate young people and help to detox drug addicts.

Good luck Tina. I hope that things work out for you and Victoria!!

Bob



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