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Posted by princess on November 06, 2000 at 10:49:42:

When I sought out this message board, it was because of my boyfriend's heroin addiction, but now I'm addicted myself. (to coke) Over the past couple of weeks, I've been considering the idea that I might be addicted, but this weekend it became clear to me that I am. I mentioned it to a couple of friends and the responses I got were, "Me too" and "How come everyone I know has been saying that lately". I fiended out Friday night, but stayed home and just got drunk. It wasn't my choice to stay home, I just couldn't get a hold of anyone. Then, Saturday night I stayed up all night snorting coke and slept all day yesterday only to wake up, go back over to the house where I always get messed up and start all over again. I was sort of dating a guy that was giving me coke for free, but we got into a disagreement Saturday night and he's not hooking me up anymore. I actually spent part of my rent money for coke last night. I'm at such a low point in my life that I'm afraid I can't pick myself back up. I'm sitting here at work right now feeling like crap because I only had two hours of sleep last night. I don't know what to do. The crowd I'm hanging out with is so much trouble. Last night me and this one guy were drinking and snorting coke, four or five other people were tripping acid, three or four others were snorting heroin and everybody was drinking and smoking bud. I almost accidentally did heroin (which is a terrifying drug to me because of what my ex did to me when he was on it) because someone passed me the tray that we always snort coke on and told me there was a line for me. It was dark and I leaned in to snort the line and at the last minute I realized that it was heroin and not coke. The guy that handed it to me claims he heard me ask for a line, but I suspect he just wanted to get me doing heroin because I once told him that I would do a lot of drugs, but that I drew the line at crack and heroin. He got offended when I told him that and has been shoving heroin in my face ever since then. It terrifies me because this is the same guy that gave me a swirl line one night and claimed he didn't know I wasn't going to do speed anymore. If I would've done that heroin last night, I don't know what I would've done with myself. I'm clueless as to what to do, my ex tells me to go to a meeting, but I've been to AA meetings before and it did nothing for me except make me feel uncomfortable. I don't know what to do, but I just had to get all of that off my chest, thanks for listening.

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