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Posted by lynnfromct on November 07, 2000 at 08:53:49:

In Reply to: you CAN stop posted by Chrissy on November 02, 2000 at 18:42:19:

Chrissy - how on earth did you stop? I love my husband dearly
and although I am a heavier user than he is... he still enjoys it once a wewk
too... I will not leave him, so it is impossible to change the people,
places and things in my life.

I know I am a living a double life - part of me believes in my page and
my plan, another part of me enjoys the badness and the feeling I get from usng.
Until of course, I come down - and then my 3rd life comes in (I become a pathetic,
sick, and tired and disgusted with myself) until I take a sleeping pill (then
I wake up and look forward to the next weekend of distruction.

See how sick it all is... I hope you forever stay clean... Maybe smeday
I will be able to add a page to my site for recovery. But I am
not there yet.


Lynn - I am so touched by your response to my message and your webpage - all that informatin - can't you just surrender to the program and let former users and your higher power be your guide? I thought I would never stop, but if I can, you can. One hour at a time to put together a day - one at a time. Please trust me - go to meetings. Even if you use, go . Again. I have fell off and dusted off so many times, and I finally got it. 3 times in rehab? I know people who have been 10-20 times!!! DO NOT GIVE UP.


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