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Posted by scared on November 07, 1999 at 00:10:53:

In Reply to: Re: crack addiction posted by tired on October 22, 1999 at 08:50:24:

Hi, My name is Josh and I am an addict/alcoholic. I read the messages that you guys have posted and I think that you are extremely strong women for dealing with what you have dealt with. I started using crack about 5 years ago not knowing what it would do to me.
I soon realized that it would control my life and ruin everything that I worked for. I can't even begin to understnd the pain that you must feel when your husbands don't show up at night and you're lying there wondering if they are even alive. I put my wife through the same thing and I feel horable about it.
I know that it will kill me if I use it again, but like I said earlier, it controlls you.
I'm sure that they are great men but you have to understand that they really didn't know what they got themselves into. I'm not making excusses for them, but I can say from experience that it's not them talking when they are using crack. I'm not even sure what I'm trying to get at but I know that my wife is my one and only reason to
keep on going. The love that I have for her is what I think about every time that I want to smoke crack. I've ended up in the hospital many times wondering if anyone was even going to come see me because I knew that I spent every last dime smoking crack. It's something that I can't explain. I thought that the need for it would go away as I got older...WRONG...it just got worse.
I will pray for every addict and especialy they're families that try so hard to make things work. Just remember that even if things don't work out with your relationship, they are people and need help. The hard part is getting them to admit it. Well, it's late on a Saturday night and thank God I'm here with my wife where I belong, For the rest of my life. Again, I will be praying for all of you.


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