Posted by Jeri Lynn
on November 13, 1999 at 17:12:57:
In Reply to: Re: crack addiction posted by scared on November 07, 1999 at 00:10:53:
Hi, my name is Jeri Lynn and I am a recovering cross addicted alcoholic. I have to say when I came acrossed this msg board today and read some of the things I read here today it brought tears to my eyes and my heart became sad.
My heart goes out to each and everyone of you who suffer from addiction and/or the affects of it because it has been my experience that the families and loved ones of the addict suffer right along with the user.
It's my wish today that I might give you some hope or shed a little light or comfort in sharing my story with you. In after reading this msg, if I can be of any help at all I pray that you'll keep in touch with me.
I am a 30 yr old female, wife, and mother of 5 beautiful children between the ages of 5 and 12 yrs old. I went through my childrens and husbands lives like a tornadoe. Destroying everything that got in my path. During my travels down my path of self destruction I discovered that I enjoyed anyting that altered the way I felt. I had to continue to use anything (cocaine-shooting, smoking, snorting, alchohol abuse, sex, etc) you name it I did it. The reason I found later that I couldn't break this vicious cycle that I had created for myself was because I wasn't able to be honest with myself. My God how could I ever have done it on my own... Look what my best thinking was doing to me. I continued to hurt myself and my loved ones because I couldn't stand to live in my own skin. I couldn't live with the guilt that hurting these people who loved me so much was bringing me.
Sometimes it's hard for me to go back there to the way I lived, but it's my hope today that I can help someone else and let the world know that there is hope. I've found a new way of life today, a new freedom and a new happiness. I'm still married to the same husband who I put through a living hell, we have a wonderful relationship today, my children are happy and healthy, I know and believe in God.... The possibilities my family and myself have been given are endless!
I'm afraid the sad part of it all is nobody can save your loved ones except themselves. There is hope though if they are ready and willing to take those steps necessary. They have to want it for themselves though and until they are ready it will not happen.
Before closing now, I'd like to add one thing. One of the msgs I read earlier made it sound like even once they get help the desire is always there for them to use. I don't like to disagree with people, but I'm afraid based on my experience as a recovering alcoholic/addict of 2 years now... My desire to drink and use drugs has been removed, but it's only been by the grace of God that this has happened and it's based on a daily reprieve and spiritual growth. It's an inside job that I bever could have done on my own.
Please don't ever give up hope!