Posted by X-JK
on May 20, 2000 at 23:04:35:
In Reply to: Re: A.A. posted by rebecca on April 16, 2000 at 13:33:05:
: I was an aa member for 8 years and still attend occasionally. But I found that (for me) the negatives outweighed the positives, especially when it came to strange men (and women) being intrusive and arrogant. I have attended many meetings throughout the years, and it is important to remember there are no rules in AA and the only requirement for "membership" is a desire to stop drinking. That's it. I sit and listen, read the literature, and read the AA Grapevine, a nice little magazine that aa publishes. As far as the know-it-alls who espouse one thing and do another, I ignore them. Unfortunately, BECAUSE of them, I sometimes need to avoid meetings to take care of myself.
: Good luck.
: : Charles, I agree about AA meetings, not to slam them, as they are fine for plenty of folks.
: : But I dislike them too.
: : A suggestion if you like it is you might go to a 12 step group at a church, as the atmosphere is usually clean of smoke and the focus is on healing the spirit (mind) to help clean up the addictive personality instead of exchanging bad habits for more "acceptable" ones.
: : Just visit different ones til you find one that allows you space to be where you are at and does not pressure you. That is an atmoshere one can grow in...they are out there. I have been in some really good recovery support groups at churches.
: : I have been helped tremendously.
: : FYI: I was the enabler codependent personality.
: : I still am learning not to be that way. Remember it is all a process, no one just arrives. I admire your honesty and your concern for your wife...you are on your way. Don't give up!
Remember that when considering the success of addicts in percentages, we (me2) are already a group of "sick people" with a low success rate of recovery. Take whats good and leave the rest at the meeting. Yes, there are some extreme personalitys in AA. Again, you are in with a group of people who are sick, been sick, and have hurdles to jump in a world that is stressful even to non-addicts...the bar(not that one) is raised a little more for the addict.I am not one of those in the meetings (you know the ones) who eat, sleep, and dream AA, but I did spend a lot of time naming the reasons it wasn't for me. The cliches like one day at a time use to drive me nuts. I can't put it into words but I think somehow the messages did eventually help...I think mostly on a subconcious level.
Keep an open mind...if it is subconcious, that by definition means you won't actually realize you are benefitting.