In Reply to: Dad's first time in Alzheimer home posted by Malia on November 13, 2000 at 12:02:08:

: I just want to say how very depressing it is to admit your parent or loved one for the first time into a home. My mom was recently admitted into the hospital (emphyzema) and us kids had to put my dad in a care center until mom goes home. However, mom's health is very poor and she is really ready to stop being his care giver. I feel so guilty, depressed and pretty much helpless over this whole situation. (I have a 2 and 3 yr old and just don't think my marriage could handle the strain of caring for my dad) When I went to visit him yesterday...he kept putting his coat on, like "let's go" and then accused me of hating him when I told him he had to stay. He is much younger and less far along than the other patients. I really don't need advice...I just wanted to let go of some of my frustrations. I am losing sleep and it is really affecting my life. God Bless all of you in similar situations. =)

I am on the other side of your situation...I have worked with Alzheimer's patients for 7 years as a CNA. I feel for your situation, but you did the right thing. You need to take care of yourself and your family. Just because he is in a care center does not mean you do not care. It means you are realistic and you recognize that you are not capable of taking on the world. Also, the reality that in the beginning stages of Alzheimer's, the patient may realize that they have a problem, but they are very good at hiding it. With all of the stressors in your life, you do not need to worry about your dad getting lost outside of his home, forgetting important medication, or leaving his supper on the stove to burn.
Your caring enough to make sure he is taken care of and watched over 24 hours a day shows a strength in you, because as difficult as it seems, you did the right thing.