I have just learned that I have this illness and it is progressing. Right now I am not sure what to do. I have always led an active life. Involved in my community, president of clubs, helped anyone I could
any time I could. I had by my parents living with my husband & I. I nursed my mother through almost 8 years of watching her die of this desease. I have lived through every stage as she progressed. I have
led support groups, shared with other people the pain for the caregiver of this illness. So I am well aware of the pain, tears and difficult times that a caregiver goes through. I have prayered for God to just take me now. Not because I fear for myself but of what my getting worse will do to my husband and children. I want to scheme but I have no place to
go to scream but the shower, and no once to talk to who understands how horrible I feel. I though about running away but I don't know where to run to. I know
that one day I will NOT KNOW AND MY FAMILY WILL CRY HAS i HAVE CRIED

• I am so sorry!!!!! Carol 16:46:33 12/15/00 (0)