Posted by
mommio2 on December 16, 2000 at 05:45:23:
Hello,
I am new to this board. Just got some bad news today about my 76 year old, beginning alzheimers mom and need to vent. Hope this is appropriate here. Since her dementia started about 1 1/2 years ago, we have had her neighbor lady going in 2 times a day to be sure she takes her meds. We pay her a nominal fee, as she is only there about 10 min each time. My mom is cognizant and able to live on her own as long as she has the lady to help with her meds and meals on wheels. She would rather DIE than go to a nursing home or an assisted living facility. She wants to die at home with her little dog, which she calls her "little girl" and, frankly, loves more than her real "little girl", me. Lately, her caregiver has not been showing up and not calling us. Today she left an irate message on my machine that she wants a raise. A raise would be fine, but i thought we were friends with this lady and had a deal worked out. Now I am fearful that our whole arrangement will fall through and I'll have to make some tough decisions about my mom. I love her, but i don't like her much. I was a late bloomer and at 49 I have 3 school age children and a husband that I adore. I am very involved in their sports, activities, and schools and I am not ready to give up any of my time with them. For the past 15 years or so, my mother has refused to visit my house and thinks much more of her dog than she does her 3 beautiful grandchildren. I guess I am feeling guilty that I refuse to take her into my home. She wouldn't want to come, anyway. Does anyone have a similar story? How and why did you finally make the decision to put your loved one in a nursing facility? When I have to finally do that, she'll hate me forever. Thanks much for listening! Mommio2
