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Posted by Pat G on October 27, 2000 at 12:10:56:

In Reply to: Re: Thank you posted by Raven on October 26, 2000 at 23:31:13:

: Hi Pat G.
: You do sound just like me. Today I did what I could to help my 86 yr old parents move, while my Brother did nothing but insult and tell me to do things. I kept telling him to do it himself he was able. But he still did nothing worth while. I feel like I was hit by a freight train. Every joint in my body feels like a hot poker is percing through my skin into my bones. I ran out of med today and called in my RX but I wasn't able to pick them up on time. It was so important yet everything kept happening and I kept pushing them back, now I am paying the price! At least my parents will feel good sleeping in their new house. I feel good knowing that. Yes when you get time I would love to hear about what pain meds work best. My stomach is messed up too so some meds really make me hurt/burn in my stomach and then I get the trots(for lack of a nicer word). I have so much trouble finding anything that works for pain/inflammation, nerves ect. Thanks for sharing your story with me. It does make sense to plan things and take them slowly instead of trying to get everything done and once done then fall to the floor and cry. My husband is a jeckell and hyde type. He says he understands and then laughs or ignores me or worse calls me hypochondia(sp) or psyhco! My older daughter is nice to my face and says she'll do it but never does or does alittle of what I asked. Its just to much for me to have to figure them out too. I have no more energy to spare. Anyways thanks for being there!!!! :) Raven

Dear Raven: There is a man in Williamsburg, VA, named Skip Baker. He is an advocate for people in which doctors refuse to prescribe opiates (or in your case, stronger controlled substances) for pain. Skip is a chronic pain sufferer. He is the President of the American Society for Action on Pain, P.O. Box 3046, Williamsburg VA 23187 Phone 757-229-1840. I am not advertising anything, but I kept going into this pain site and this was how I found a doctor to properly prescribe pain meds. Through this site, a doctor out of Virginia told me about a doctor in eastern Washington state who would prescribe the needed pain meds. Raven, you are being under medicated, from what I can tell. In fact, you can go to Search the Web for American Society for Action on Pain and it will come up. Skips email is skipb@widowmaker.com--he is an advocate for opiates. In fact, the article today is about Virginia. In one state, I've heard you can sue a doctor for under prescribing pain meds. I think it is Maine, but I'm not sure.

This is how I got the right pain meds:
I asked my doctor to send me to a pain management specialist. I had been to the pain guy before, and here this Virginia doctor told me to go to him. So, I asked my doctor to send me back to the same pain management specialist, an Oriental guy. It was the pain management specialist that recommended the Oxycontin (20mg twice daily)(timed released percocet) plus nortryptylene (10mg) at night for nerve pain. Then I went back to my family doctor, and all he would do is give me the nortriptylene. So, I asked for a copy of the report from the pain management guy and looked in my insurance book for an internal medicine specialist, who is recommended for ongoing adult problems. I was told not to go to a family doctor--they don't help in pain meds. We are a frustrating type of patient for docs to deal with. They cannot get success with us, because we hurt, and they can't fix it. Before choosing this new doctor, I asked how well does he work with this particular pain management guy and if this doctor ever prescribes opiates for chronic pain. The office girl told me that this doctor does work with the particular pain management guy I had, and at times, he does prescribe opiates. You see, if you will go into the pain site I recommended, you will understand that doctors are afraid of the DEA. DEA can pull their license; however, if there is proper documentation proving you are screwed up (x-rays, etc), and the doctors have tried everything else to give you relief, then the pain meds are being released (from what I've heard). I thought I had lost all that info. on an older computer that had died. Raven, you motivated me to look through my papers and I found it!!! Please go to that site, American Society for Action on Pain. Start reading and if you want, write to Skip, he is in your state! He may be able to help you find a doctor. I take my pain meds with food, especially when I had darvocet (it will hurt your stomach). Add darvocet with relafin and I would be cramped up--majorly.

How nice of you to help your parents move. I buried my 84 yr. old dad a couple years ago. Mom died in 1989. I know how hard it is to watch your parents age. Your brother sounds like a typical, non-understanding individual. Several years ago,I remember we remodeled our house and my hubby and his friend sat there, laughing, while I alone hauled in 45 boxes of stuff. My hubby doesn't even remember it. So, guess what, I now do barely what I need to, and he alone has to deal with it all. I do the dinner, laundry, babysit grandkids, and make beds. Occasionally, I'll vacuum, but heck with it. I'm not killing myself for them any more. If I don't make the dinner, my husband treats me like a non-person. I know the manipulations when I see them. I try to deal with my situations as best as I can, but let me tell you, my hubby is better, but he still has those same rotten little tendencies, too. He's got to do all our firewood himself this year, and is he ever whinny about it. You reap what you sow, I guess. Don't ask me how I reaped this pain--I am a workaholic, I guess. Actually, I used to like to do wood.

Well, Raven, I've really written you a book. I hope I have helped you in some way. It really does help to know there is someone else out there that not only suffers pain, but suffers from people that just don't get it! I am praying for you and for you to have strength to go on, day by day. Stay close to God; He is your strength. If you only knew my whole life, just as if I only knew your life, I know we'd understand each other even more and know just how the heck we got here! Take care, Pat G.

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