Posted by Sounds familiar (husband)
on August 30, 2000 at 11:24:55:
In Reply to: my husband posted by ???? on August 28, 2000 at 15:07:12:
I can relate to youÖ. but Iím a husband. We have two children, a daughter 5 (normally functioning) and a son 4 (mid range autistic). He was dx 7 months ago, though we suspected a year and a half ago he was autistic. We went through a period of denial, my wife much more than I. He was in an integrated pre-school for over a year, he made very little progress. We pulled him out of that, now our son is on the GFCF diet, heís receiving several supplements and we have started an in-home Lovaas ABA program.
My wife is a stay at home mom, she is implementing the diet and is spending a good amount of time over seeing the ABA program. But I have done all of the research, she has been resistant in starting these programs and Iíve had to do a lot of convincing to get her to try these.
As far as our marriage and romance, itís pretty much none existent. Her excuse.. ďIím triedĒ. Iím tired too, I recently started a new job and Iím also doing some contract work on the side to help pay for the cost of the ABA program. But I try to put something in our marriage, I buy her flowers when she doesnít expect it or a card to tell her how much sheís appreciated, her usual response ďWhy did you spend the money?Ē. When I try to kiss her, itís as if you were to kiss your great grandmother or somethingÖ. Absolutely no passion at all. As far as sex goes, maybe once a month. For her, it ranks right up there with scrubbing the toilets. I have tried everything I can think of. We were in marriage counseling two years ago, per my request. We were in for 6 months, Iíve told her I think we should go back, she doesnít think we need it.
I have always been a romantic and person. But Iím at wits end in trying to get back some resemblance of a loving and caring marriage we once had. I know the only reason we are still together is because of the children. I have also thought that I will leave once are kids are grown. I pray our son can one day take care of himself. I just know I canít go on like this forever.
PS. My twenty year reunion is next year, Iíll probably go by myself because itís back in my home state and will have to fly back for it. Might even happen to see some of my old girl friendsÖ. Hum.