Re: tight/tense shoulder muscles from rsd in lower arm...
I've been dealing with compensation pain in my elbow and shoulder during this whole ordeal. For the shoulder I hold my bad arm out straight to the side, then tip my head toward my other shoulder and slightly tipped forward, then slowly bring my arm down and across the front of my body for a nice stretch. If your boyfriend can slowly stretch out the muscle while you are doing this it is even better. I take ibuprofen with some caffeine when mine really hurts.
I think the massage is a great idea - both physically and emotionally!