I feel your pain, I lost my father 14 years ago to this scurge of a disease. Then years later almost to the day I lost my mother to the same diseaese that took my father. Ironically during one of her chemo treatments she was in the room that my dad passed in. As time goes by it will slowly start to heal. You will start to forget the sickness, the pain your father was in is gone, he is at rest, he is not hurting. Now when I think of my mother and father I see them when they were healthy and happy together. July is a bad month for me as both of them passed that month one on the 14th and one on the 16th, I still call it death week to this day. Both of them were smokers, my dad quit before he was diagonsed but my mom sitting 10 feet from him most of the day did not. He was dianosed in Nov and he died in July. Well my friend I can only say it is true it gets better in time. I pray for you to heal, I pray for God to eliminate tobbaco from this earth.