Thanks for what you wrote...what you said made me feel really good
. I'm glad for any smiles I can offer, but I'm sorry if hurts your mouth! I hope you start to feel better, and I think a family portrait is a wonderful idea! What a perfect thing to do together and celebrate so many things. I would love to see it and see what thoughts it creates because it is surely true that a picture is worth a 1,000 words...
Husbands, geesh...it seems like the minute you do anything to better yourself, that guy wants to drag you down. On one hand, I understand that it is nice to not be alone, I am having some trouble with that part of all this...I don't like being alone while doing this! And it's like that old rhyme, "when he is good, he is very, very good, but when he is bad, he is horrid!" There is some comfort there whether he's supportive or not. Then on the flip side, there are times I'm sure that you want to scream "I can do this without you!" and carry on by yourself with the kids. I don't know if this is the case with you, but for me, when my ex was only seen as a paycheck in clothes, well...I finally couldn't do it anymore. Now, six years later, do I miss that paycheck? Yes!!! Sometimes I wish I could have it all back...even the cruddy parts, because the future is so very, very scarey. But what is done is done, and I do think I am a better person now than I was then. I would never be making big decisions like I have all by my little ole' self if I was still under his thumb, that's for sure.
Yes, please toss the extra pills! I don't know if you know that I followed you and the others here for almost a year before I joined and you all welcomed me in so much. As someone who has read from the outside looking in for a very long time, I probably don't need to remind you how many of your threads started out with "Day one...again." But that is what makes you so special and so inspiring...you never stopped, never. You've always tried so hard in the face of so many hardships, that I was glued to your posts. Every time I logged on I would wonder what I would find had happened to you. You were about to go to court when I started lurking...doesn't that seem like a lifetime ago? And look at you now...new smile, new program, and a new period of being clean. Another thing I always admired about you was that if you did falter during a period of being clean, you never hid it or stopped coming to the boards. If I fall by the wayside during my methadone maintenance treatment, I hope I can be that brave. Will you pick me up if I do? Thanks, I knew you'd say that...