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Old 10-26-2004, 07:39 AM   #1
blindfaith blindfaith is offline
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Join Date: Oct 2004
Posts: 16
blindfaith HB User
Faith in Recovery

I'd be interested to hear from others how faith, and a belief in a Higher Power has played a role in your ability to obtain/maintain sobriety. I have been struggling with an addiction to narcotics for years...I'll go to rehab, go to meetings, be OK for awhile, then relapse. Same cycle over and over. I now take suboxone which really has been a life-saver all around for me in keeping me from using every day like I used to. But I've been disillusioned recently due to a weekend relapse a couple of weeks ago. I just find it so hard to not want the pills, or rather the feeling they gave me of peace, contentment, and being able to handle anything! I know you on these boards understand, while "earth" people think that is the silliest thing ever!

I really do believe (after years of watching it happen for other people, but not getting it myself) that faith is a huge component for a successful sober life. But how do you get there? I pray everyday, and have started going back to church, and being around people who are driven by their faith and a relationship with a higher power. But I feel like a fake. I sit there and my heart just isn't into it. I pray, and everyday still feel nothing. I have a friend who always says that he was able to fill the hole in his soul that he used drugs for with his new faith. And I'd love to have the experience. But it's just not in me!

I do believe that there is "something" else out there. I do believe that we have a purpose and are supposed to lead our lives in a good, kind manner. But I'm pretty nebulous about everything else. And I definitely don't feel the connectedness and spirituality that I see other people have. And those are the people in the meetings and churchs who are happy, and sober, and making it work, so I want that!

SOrry to ramble...basically I'd love to hear from others who are doing well and are happy in sobriety what role faith plays, and how you got there if you weren't always a spiritual person.

thanks!