What state do you live in? I think this is a federal funded program. Ask other parents with children in special ed if they know of free service or look in your special ed book of rules it tells about group that are free. It was not until another parent told of these groups that i discovered them. Special ed won't tell you about them it's a learn as you go process. Mediation is always free of charge for school issues but it sounds like you need cuase group as well. Your case hits home as my daughter is 8 years old also. We just found out this week that red dye 40 sets off major rages in her(fruit roll ups). Now i can control extra rages she has it's just getting everyday ones under control, but i have seen at least 1/3 less rages in her without red dye 40(just a thought).
If you tel me what state you live in i might have info for you.
Merry Christmas to all!!