You are should not be disgusted with yourself!(okay picture me stamping my foot here) Many said that mom was selfish for going into the hospice and that we should feel selfish for not being able to make her stay home. We were not selfish but realistic. So you can not win. It is you and Dan that have to make the choice and know that it is the best for you. Mom's biggest concern with the hospice was that she was worried that her and dad would no longer be married. Also Cheryl check with the hospice and make sure that you can sometimes stay the night. It will become more important to you. Also see if you can order the what mom called the daily specials, or meals. That way if you do not want to leave to go for a meal that you do not go hungry. But it is also important that you do get away for a bit each day. It is okay to cry with Dan. There is always so much more to say and I wish I could do more...... but remember, both you Cheryl and Mary, my thoughts and prayers are with your families both.