Re: I'm lost. I want to be free
I just read your post and I was amazed.
You have a way with words that needs to be utililized!!! The way you express yourself, even in your pain is beautiful. You sound intelligent and have a talent for drawing a person into your world as dreary as you perceive it and making someone want to know more. You need to do something with that.
The fact that you have to discuss the betrayal you have seen to your mother is sad, yet if it has happend before and they are still together then she accepted it the first time and has already prepared herself mentally for it to happen again. You didn't cause this they did.
As for being ugly? Ok , I am sorry you feel that way.. A also have a self esteem issue. I am too tall.. 5'9 and about 50 lbs overweight..talk about an amazon. Everyone swears I am 6' ..which I deny of course..I even have a little card from my doctor saying my height just to prove it..pathetic. Oh I try to be pretty, I have naturally light blonde hair that is past my waist.. I go to the tanning salon to help cover up my paleness..and I use every wrinkle cream I can get my hands on..even though people tell me I don't have wrinkles.. liars!!!!! How do I get through it? I fake confidence which for some reason draws people to me. Funny thing is..I learned how to do that from my baby sister who is 11 years my junior!!!! She is 6'3 overweight and proudly walks down the street wearing 6 inch platform shoes. People swarm her.
Ok ran out of things to say...