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Old 04-11-2005, 08:47 PM   #14
Rayne2005 Rayne2005 is offline
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(female)
 
Join Date: Apr 2005
Location: United states in Michigan
Posts: 32
Rayne2005 HB User
Re: I'm lost. I want to be free

Oh my goodness, I stumbled across this thread and the words of your post Man Apart touched me. I dont know what your physical appearance is, but you have beauty that most only touch the edge of. Your way with words is miraculous, its a true art. I dont imagine that you are unappealing in apperance because such beauty could not come from a horrid person.
I find that i too wonder similar things. What is the purpose of it all, though unlike you i cant express it as well. You remind me of Edgar Allen Poe, whose poetry was dark and often misunderstood, his genius seemed to be coupled with madness. In my mind he was what everyone was, confused about the what life was, and he simply expressed it.
Beauty is in the eye of the beholder. I find myself unattractive. 5'8 with black hair and brown eyes. Not much to look at when i see myself. But i have seen the most beautiful people and when they open their mouth, ignorance and arrogance flood the air. it pours from them, covering over that outer beauty making them hideous. Man Apart everyone has somthing, but you have a true gift, and unlike outer beauty, it wont fade.
I know what its like to be bullied, for things that you can really control, but a friend once told me that it isnt because of you that they mess with or avoid you but because they are insecure in themselves.
As far as the gene pool goes, you'd be doing the world a disservice not leaving a blueprint or copy of yourself. Such greatness and wonder is umcommon and i would hate for it to go away. Attracting the opposite sex is more than a physical thing, this coming from a really young woman. I have found that while some guys who are attractive on the outside try to talk to me, its was i hear and feel from their inside that draws me. You are young, and have time to find that woman that will love and appreciate you for who you are. and with a beautiful mind, and probably heart, you will be beautiful to her no matter what your outer appearence is.
Im sorry i sound like this but i am truly enamored. I love writing and reading and i just can get over your use of words to describe pain in such a beautiful way. It is remarkable. You have my deepest admiration and respect.

Rayne

Last edited by Rayne2005; 04-11-2005 at 08:53 PM. Reason: more to say.