If she refuses to wear "Depends" you may have to put a heavier waterproof plastic mattress cover on the bed. Keep a few extra sheets handy-and just wash as needed. Is it in the budget to have a cleaning service come in just once to get everything sanitized and oder removed?? Good expense for any of her other children.
Can you convince her (why am I even suggesting this??
) that the "briefs" or Depends are to keep her warmer at night? Make them into a fashion statement?? Most likely that won't work, but I thought I'd throw it out.
As far as I could tell, Mom wasn't incontinent before she went in the NH, but I notice she is wearing a "brief" now. She's so little that it shows beneath her clothing. I need another talk with the Nurse Supervisor and must bring that up.
It's so difficult to get our loved ones to comply with the simplest thing that we all would take for granted.
Also, my Mother was a heavy drinker all her adult life, and that didn't stop when she started with Dementia. I don't know where she got her liquor, and I pleaded with her neighbor's not to give it to her or buy it for her. To no avail.
"A little Toddy at night will help her sleep" No, it exacerbated the problem
to no end. Getting your MIL to give up her wine might make a huge improvement, but I've been there and it just doesn't work.
Can we have a group "arrrrrgggggggggg!"
My heart goes out to you, Sally. Is there anyway she can go to a nursing home? I know it's a drastic decision, but at least at a home a team will be available to care for her. It sounds like you are doing all of her care by your self. That's too much for one person.
You may have to go on strike!!
Take care, and rest when you can.
Linda In CA