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Old 09-09-2005, 10:45 AM   #13
chocolatesprinkle chocolatesprinkle is offline
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Join Date: Feb 2004
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Re: I want to cry-bulls eye

Hi Ciconner

I'm thinking my body might have handled it quickly, too. I really don't have any symptoms. Physically I'm fine.

Good news!

I can relate much to the bouts of weepiness. I knew I needed help but didn't know how to go about it until a crisis hit. Connections bring you places (angels show up), brought me to my therapist who insisted on antidepr although I resisted for about 4-5 months. The antidepr has helped in many ways. I don't remember his name, but I know someone in the field has written about how these types of drugs can help Lyme patients, and antidepr even have antibiotic properties.

I think I've been infected more than once in my life . . .

I've wondered about that myself, seeing as how beginning with 1986, I put myself out there in the woods and fields unprotected for many years. We lived next to a 250 acre farm and we used to walk all over that property many times in tall grasses, noting where the deer had spent the night. I also remember bouts of unexplained fatigue.

I think you also have to look back in life, and see what you were exposed to. Both my parents smoked; my mother even during pregnancy. I had chronic bronchitis growing up (little wonder!) and was treated with abx routinely. I've read how receiving too many courses of abx in your life can actually affect your health adversely, and thus, I am pretty reluctant to go on them again.

The lymph node in my neck is what clued me in on this in 2004.

I've got a swollen lymph node under my armpit now. Got me feeling jumpy.

This disease is like an obsession.

And how! It's eating up a lot of my time and energy now which I seem to have more of (and thank goodness for that). But I'm on a mission. There's a way that's individual for me, a puzzle, and it's up to me to figure it out.

I made a doc appt. for Monday and will just have the Western blot done and go from there.

Best of luck with that! Keep us posted.

I also read that lyme can "resolve itself."

Me too. And I think there's a lot of credence to that, given that your immune system is working well, and your stress levels are low. And I keep reading that our body was designed to work in health.

These days I just happen to want to crawl in a hole and not want to be around people because I can't trust my behavior. I don't even want to work anymore because I always start some kind of "trouble." Regardless of whether I'm right or not, it's just a waste of my energy and I always lose in the end. I just wish I knew if this is lyme related.

That is the hard part. I do work but I sure don't want to. I am lucky in that I can work from home 2-3 days/week. But it gets harder and harder. I've had more outbursts of anger this year than in my whole life. As far as my social activities, I plan my life around them. Bank up energy ahead of time, plenty of sleep, reduce the stress. People usually only see me at my best. I have moments of sharpness, and others times I am sitting in a fog, trying to pretend I know what everyone is saying, and coming up with 1 or 2 word answers that 'may' work. And I never really know if they do. People are much too polite! ! ! I've been meaning to ask family if they can tell whether I'm with it or not.

CS