Re: Is this PPD or what?
I agree with JMC. It is normal to feel afraid ( I myself started a post last weekend about this topic). It sounds though like you have some pretty specific images in your head. This is understandable given the lack of sleep and hormone stew rushing through your body. I think it is great that you have started going out and feeling ok about it.
It may help to talk with your doctor. He/She sees a lot fo women who just had babies and can help you find ways to feel better.