Originally Posted by Strawberry1
I don't know if I can help, but anyway: IMHO everything is OK unless you actually squeeze the glass into pieces
In my experience, toasting situations are often somewhat chaotic and clumsy, nobody is expected to be 100% graceful.
(BTW, would it help, if you just lifted you glass towards other person's glass and let the other person do the tapping while you remain passive?)
In general, you seem to judge yourself very harshly. IMHO you should be much more forgiving towards yourself.
You seem to be very conscious about all kinds of little goofs that most people hardly notice in themselves or in others. And you seem to be very aware of your physical reactions, probably too aware: I think most people are totally clueless about whether they are squeezing something or not and when they inhale or exhale
You are very right, I am very judgemental about myself and it is known that the older you get the wiser you should be
Hmm, maybe that's not working for me...yet
I guess I still hold enormous amounts of resentment toward the way my mother viewed/dealt (or not dealt), or continues to deal with my disability. Unfortunately, in the back of my mind, when I'm in a public situation , all that comes to mind is me seeing my mother "roll" her eyes everytime I spilled/got nervous, etc...even with smiling, I remember in every picture she would say, "Must you smile like that? Your nose wrinkles and it does not look nice." Or "You are not stupid, why must your hands tremble?" That sort of thing.
I do not want to give a characterization of her being "verbally abusive" but the way she chose to deal w/ my disability was her fault, not mine. I know that. However, it left a permanent psychological scar, and by me trying to "correct" or "self-criticize," I feel like I'm doing myself some good - and that is trying to attempt to "fix" something or improve it.
This is a very difficult step to overcome, and I'm working very hard in doing so. Probably because, being 29, I just feel like I'm running out of time! Please don't say I'm crazy!! I want to be married, I want to become a mother, and before I do this, I think I need to be comfortable with who I am first. I need to be more self - assertive, because if I don't learn to do this now, how will I do it when I'm married with children?
I'm glad I'm going out more, and that is the best medicine for "social phobia." However, I feel that I need to "perfect" certain things. I'm tired o feeling "embarrassed" about my disability. I want to feel comfortable with myself. That way I'll know that when I end up finding my mate, I want him to know that I'm not a weak person.
Anyway, all your advice is very helpful, and though I do not know any of you personally, I feel you all have helped me more than anyone in my life. The only problem now is the finally start "believing" in myself, and the person I am.