I've been diagnosed with fibro, have possible lupus, seasonal affective disorder and chronic,clinical depression. These all cause fatigue as well as my medications. i DO deal with chronic fatigue, it may not be CFS, but its darn near close to it, i sleep so much i miss days and days worth of memorys, medications, fun, eating, everything. I'm so tired of being tired. Just the other day I went to bed at 8pm, woke up at 6 am, fed the cats and went to bed at 7 pm, woke up at 8 pm, went to bed at 7:30 pm, woke up at 2pm ....get the picture.... It goes on and on, its so bad i ask people where i am anymore, my own fiance cant even remember where i was yesterday, i dont even think we seen eachother for a week cuz of my sleeping!!!!
I miss spending time AWAKE, i miss LIVING, geeze i use to wish i was dead but now i want to be alive and its tearing me apart. I just want to sit here and cry. My life is being ruined by everything thats happening and i just cant get up and DO anything because i want to sleep, i have a NEED for sleep, its all i want to do, im ADDICTED TO SLEEPING. I just want to curl up in bed and close my eyes and enter a world where everything isnt real and *I* can change it if i thought hard enough and i was the special one, and i could fly and had special powers and achieve what i cant achieve now, and get married and have a wonderful life, even be a superhero fighting villans and saving the city.
My body just wants to sleep, my brain wants to shut down, and i normally just let it do what it wants...except today........because i was hungry for once.....
WHEN WILL IT END!?????????????????????????
I WANT MY LIFE BACK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!