canaryblue

thanks so much jen. it helps knowing thati am not alone. strength in numbers right?

so i think i had my first full-out actual panic attack last night.

i made a thread in the panic disorders forum, but i know the attack came from OCD, so i wanted to put it here too.

i knew that yesterday was as bad a day as i have had in a long time, but when i lay down to bed, it all came at me full force.
i was dizzy, sweaty palms, shaking, heart racing...when i closed my eyes, i was spinning and seeing all these wild colors and it felt as if the lights were going to go out. everything i was worried about came to the front of my mind all at once and i felt like i would do anything just to calm down and get my mind to stop. i was begging for mercy from my own subconscious. the only way i was able to calm myself was to pray, over and over, "God grant me peace" and eventually i drifted to a less than peaceful sleep.
today i feel hung over from the whole experience.
i am calling my doc today. i just don't think i can handle this on my own.