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Old 01-13-2006, 06:10 PM   #1
Mintox Mintox is offline
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Join Date: Dec 2003
Location: London, UK
Posts: 9
Mintox HB User
Unsure of next step...

Hello there,

I am looking for opinions / advice on a self-inflicted problem I am having with my girlfriend.

We have been going out for 2 years now and have been living together for appoximately six months and she is pushing to buy a house together. She is also frequently dropping hints that she would like to get married.

I can see that she would be a kind, caring, considerate wife and we have a lot in common which means we have a good time most of the time, but when things are bad, they get really bad.

We are both teachers and whereas I keep my work and home life separate, she often brings emotional baggage from school home. We often have discussions which turn into arguments and she talks consistently about school, despite me asking her not to as we often disagree and fall out. I am finding the pressure of doing a full days work (in a career which is very demanding) and then coming home and facing a grilling about how to sort out the problems with someone else's job unbearable.

My main problem in my relationship is that if I tell her that I don't want to hear her bad news about her day she will (understandably) be hurt but I don't think I can continue living with her unless I get a respite from the constant pressure of never being able to escape from work. I am passionate about working with children but cannot stand the mental exertion of sorting out my own career and another person's as well.

I hope you can give me some advice on whether I am being selfish with my need for a little space or, if not, whether I can break the news to her gently. that I would like to keep our careers separate. In the long-term I cannot see us having a future together which is a shame because she is fantastic during the holidays and we have great fun at weekends.

Many thanks for your time.