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Old 06-06-2006, 09:16 PM   #1
Star Heart Star Heart is offline
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Join Date: Feb 2005
Location: Midwestern United States
Posts: 97
Star Heart HB User
My Kid Won't Be A Kid....

My 10 yr old is all eyes and ears and overly worried.

My hubby and I try and keep all of our financial and other issues private, but he always seems to overhear when there is trouble, and pretty soon he's upset. He's always trying to discuss these things with us and you can just see his little wheels turning trying to make things right. He is soooo adult! Even other adults comment on how very "mature" he is. In fact, he won't stand for being spoken to "like a kid"...In a recent convo with me he related that he can't stand that his paternal grandmother does not speak to him with respect!!!

I'll admit, some of this IS our fault. It's a very long and involved story but we had some very rough years in which we lost our home, had the Electric cut off, and at one point even had our vehicle repossessed. It was during this time that my brother in law and his family also lived with us (we were trying to support 9 people on two wages), and the B-i-l could be VERY abusive towards his wife and to me. Again, I tried hard to shield my son from it, but to this day he is concerned for that family and their stead. ( At least They live apart from us now!!)

He's very compassionate and understanding, eager to listen and learn, always trying to take things to the next level. He's also highly intelligent (ranked at least 7th grade 5th month in all of his skills testing, and he's just finished 3rd!) Watches the news and weather channels fervently... He just takes these things in, and tries to make sense of it all. He floors me much of the time.

Yet, he's extremely sensitive. Bursts into tears at the slightest thing, and takes the slightest "Betrayal" by a friend to heart. And by betrayal I mean, the next door neighbor can choose another friend over my son, and Jr will be "destroyed"....Or as I mentioned before, if there is the slightest hint of financial woe, he's immediately telling us he doesn't want his allowance or to take his current favorite toy back to the store for a refund, or that he doesn't really need to eat (breakfast, lunch, supper) today....

This emotional side of him just drives me NUTS. I absolutely do not know how to handle it! Whenever it's in regards to our issues (hubby's and mine) I always try to reassure him that these are "grown-up" problems and since we're the grown ups, we'll resolve them, that they're not HIS to worry about, but it doesn't seem to do any good! He just mulls it over and ponders and comes to us with varied ways of solving the problem (and he's really got some great ideas) and of course I thank him for that, but I wonder if by Thanking him, I'm just making the problem worse???

Overall, I really just want my CHILD to be and act like a CHILD (have fun!!!) Any ideas of how I can help heal these old wounds so he can do that???