I think what is generally manipulative behavior is when you say to somebody that you want to be respected and you ask the person not to smoke in your car and they ignore you and later on tell you that they were not being disrespectful because they didn't take you seriously because if you were serious you should have pulled over and hit the cigarette out of their hand!!!
OR saying that they had to sleep on a park bench because you didn't pick up the phone when they called but failed to leave a message on your voicemail and they told you that they had a ride home from the movies with a friend. OR saying that you are paranoid/crazy when you check on them hearing voices in their room and find that your suspicions were right when a friend is hiding in the closet. It's as if they displace or project the blame on you for their wrongdoings because they are unable to admit for some reason that they are doing something wrong.
I hope that clarifies things....there is a big difference in having a bad day and getting upset with somebody than blaming them for your poor choices. I guess that is what I meant.