Scared to death (long)
Hi, I've never posted on here before but I have some fears that maybe some can relate to. I am 19 weeks pregnant with my fourth child... yes fourth! When I was pregnant with my first son I developed pre-eclampsia that was kept under control so I had no real bad effects from it. Well, during my third pregnancy with my last son I developed pre-eclampsia that went undected by tests even though all of the symptoms were there. I went in to labor two weeks early (because the placenta had stopped nourishing my son which we didn't know until later) and as soon as I arrived at the hospital the troubles began. I was there about ten minutes in the triage room when all of a sudden I felt sick to my stomach and so I told a nurse and she put a cold rag on my head.. well it didn't do anything for me and i became very weak and very faint and the kicker is... NO ONE UNDERSTOOD WHAT WAS GOING ON! If anyone had looked at my charts they might have noticed the pre-eclamsia testing that had been done just a couple of days before hand. Anyhow, I started to die... literally.. my blood pressure dropped my pulse was faint.. they stuck and iv of some sort in to my arm and within minutes I sprang back to life.. but my son was doing terribly his heart had gone from 170 to 32 bpm. They started to prepare me for an emergency c-section but decided it would be quicker for me to deliver him the regular way. (by the way whatever happened at the hospital was covered up so I never got the whole story right because i was in and out)
My son was born about an hour after this incident. He weighed 5 pounds 6 oz which is really small for me because my other two boys were over 9 pounds. Well he seemed fine until the last couple of years when we started to realize he has some mental developing issue.
I am terrified to give birth again! After I had him i developed panic/anxiety disorder that has led to agoraphobia. Today i was at the clinic and they pricked my finger and i almost fainted (probably because i paniced even the the sight of my own blood has never bothered me before) i left there very frustrating thinking... how on earth am i going to do this?
I am wondering if they ever give women anything to calm them down during birth? I am sure that i am not the only one who is prone to panic. To me giving birth means a very serious possibility of death even though so far things are going just fine (besides the fact that i haven't gained enough weight yet) there is a high risk of me developing pre-eclampsia again even though this time I did things right before I was pregnant like lost weight and the like. With the two children I had the pre-eclampsia with i started out about 30-35 pounds over weight and i have heard that makes a difference... with my second son (the nice easy birth) i never had pre-eclampsia and i started my pregnancy at a normal weight.
I am just wondering if there is anyone out there who has these fears that I do? And if anyone has ever been given anything while in labor to help them calm down?
Thanks ahead of time to anyone who responds!