Thread: Money issues
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Old 08-18-2006, 12:59 PM   #1
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Money issues

I am recently married - almost 3 months (we have been dating for several years though) and it seems most of our fighting is about money. I am starting to get really resentful about it. We went to pre-marital couselling before we were married and we agreed upon certain things (I thought we did anways) and now everything is not turning out the way we had initially agreed.
My husband used to be employed as a casual worker then went to term and in the past few months has finally become a full time unionized employee - something we both had been hoping for. Since then though I find he is more tight with money when it comes to the household and me and I feel he is acting like he is better than me now. Like, he doesn't apologize when he does or says things to me anymore. He has actually said he wasn't taking anymore s..t off anyone at work anymore as they can't touch him now that he is full time. I see his behaviour as odd as everyone works to make a living.
I have always worked throughout our relationship and have not counted on him to pay my way. I don't however make as much money as he does - he makes almost double what I make. He does expect me to pay half the bills, etc. and the car payment and both insurances on top of that (he says it is my car so he is not obligated to pay for it, although the car he drives was bought and paid for by me). My bills come out to about $300 more a month than our rent (which he pays). By the time I get my cheque it is almost gone with all the payments and I have very little left over. My account has dwindled before to $3.
When he goes grocery shopping (very seldom) he buys what he likes and doesn't think of me (lots of meat, etc. and knows I am vegetarian but buys nothing I like). We alternate in paying for groceries. I also paid more than he did for our wedding - a cost that was supposed to be 50/50.

He is refusing to have a joint bank account and does not want to budget our money (both things we had agreed upon before). He wastes money or beer and cigarettes, etc. We can well afford to buy a house but he is dragging his a** about that saying we can't afford it which is not true.
I feel that he is not a marriage partner and that he is acting single and taking advantage of me. I feel in a marriage a couple should be partners. It is so ironic that his sister lives this way and he calls his brother-in-law a jerk for treating her that way.
I have a lot of anger towards him over this and have had countless conversations about it with no resolution. I am thinking that this month I will just not pay the bills (they are in his name anyway) - should I do this?
I know money is the number one cause of divorce and I can start to see why.