Thread: A little help
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Old 09-04-2006, 08:40 AM   #1
Aten-Re Aten-Re is offline
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A little help

Right this is a real dozy.
I have known this women since March, and would see her once of twice a month. At the end of April, she told me that she was interested in me but I had a girlfriend. She would prod me on if I was in love with my girlfriend and to be honest I wasn’t, and I could feel myself falling for this girl. So I did something about it. At the back end of June I broke up with my girlfriend and asked this girl out.

The response I got was “lets see what happens” as she was having a few personal issues, so I though fine, I went round to hers once before she went on holiday for a week, but when she came back her world fell apart. She found out she had a tumour, her cousin with 5 kids became very ill with cancer and died, and her mum and dad went through a break up (all in the space of 2 months). During this time I tried really hard to see her, but the more I tried the more she withdrew, until admittedly I lost my cool and wanted some answers. She said she had a lot on and wanted to be friends instead (ah the dreaded words of doom). The more she went through the more I wanted to see her, I felt devastated for losing my cool at a time when she had enough on her plate.

This was about 4 weeks ago, she still has stuff going on, but just isn’t the same around me. I know this will have effected her, but I cant feel like I can support her anymore as I cant just be her friend.

She has had two abusive relationships in the past and I know trust with her is hard, but I thought I had bridged that gap. I really don’t want to get stuck in the friend zone. My friends have all advised me to keep my distance for a while and let her have some time, I think this is cruel but its all I have left.

Any advice during this time will be of help.