| | My bearings? what to do,,,
I have written a long message and would really appreciate it if you could just read through it and provide some assistance, i checked spelling and stuff so it won't be a total bore! thanks and here it goes:
I have been in a relationship for 3 years now and we have had our ups and downs. Initially we were having terrible sex and i just accepted it because it was my first intimate g/f and we got along quite well. Now we are kinda attatched and she is trying really hard to improve and going out of her way to do things for me and I truly appreciate all of it but the irony in it is that i think i have stopped loving her. I don't know when it hapened, but i just can't imagine a future with her (its not that she's intolerable) but that is how i feel.
I want to explore and have fun, that includes having crazy-intimate-sex which I know I'll never get in this relo. I also want some adventure which is not what we have. We just know how to live together (we don’t actually live together) and how to just kiss and show our care to each other. I have spoken to her and she says she wants a man who is caring and who is honest and good- something simple. So as you can see, each of us have different needs and i think that this decision is going to be one of the most difficult since it will be filled with a lot of hope for something better and regret.
I have tried breaking up with her and we even seperated for a week but then we just got back together because i was feeling sorry that she has been through a lot for me. Am i selfish? this thought always justifies me staying because she has really put a lot out there for me, so I that admit she tried more than I have!
So we got back together and i try to break it up, but it doesn't work. And when i see her, i don't feel anything and i just don't know how to stop! I just want to move on , and find somone else!
I have been in this position for over 4 months now and i can tell that she can tell that i have changed, but the point is that i have changed.
Her bday is coming up in 2 weeks and so once again, i delay the problem coz i feel bad breaking up near/before/str8 afta her bday. Also, she isn't having such a great time either so i feel even more guilty for abandoning her if we do break up.
Am i crazy? Am i really a big jerk with a penis? Why am i doing this and thinking like this? I don’t want to cheat but my mind is wondering outwards!
Please could someone tell me what i am doing wrong? Could someone please help me and provide some advice, I would really appreciate this@
Last edited by deejay11; 09-15-2006 at 07:14 AM.