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Old 10-10-2006, 07:16 AM   #1
distroyed distroyed is offline
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Join Date: Jun 2006
Location: ma
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hi

Hey guy's!
haven't been here in a while. wife is doing the outpatient thing. It is sad because I kinda gave up. there was just too much damage done. of course I care about her well being, but the feelings just aren't the same.
Any one know what the "love Bank is"? well my is compleatly empty. it took almost a year of her constantly with drawing from me, to finally empty me out. I am not excepting deposits from her, account closed! I actually put my arms up and decided I wasn't going to get hurt anymore. I feel alot stonger and my smile and laugh that has been gone for so long has finally returned. I have the kids (still with me) on a great routine and we have so much fun together. I'm pretty sure that you are supposed to laugh and have fun with life especially when your a little kid. I will do anyhing to make sure my kids are safe and happy.
anyway the wife is trying to get me back, I have taken her in so many times over the past year and held her and told her everything would be ok, I cant do or say that anymore. She wants me to fix everything again and be her streangth, but I have done that so many time and I just got hurt over and over again. Why would it be any different this time. I understand Bipolar and have deep sympathy for her, but I am no use to anyone if I am constantly getting knocked down. over the past couple of weeks I feel as though I am getting some streanght back, I will not be kicked around and I am no ones second choice! My friends and family have noticed and have stated that the old me, the one who is alway smiling and laughing is coming back. I think that's a good thing.