Is this typical 4 year-old behavior?
Mom & Dad at home
Two Children, Daughter is 6 years old, son is 4 years old
-Slept in same bed for almost a year at in-laws house due to financial hardships until last month, now each child has own room
-Daughter is easy to discipline, easy to please, can become bratty at times, but overall a well-behaved child
-Son is the most loving in the world, very caring when he feels like it - BUT - he throws awful temper tantrums when he does not get his way; repeats badwords (from Dad) even after explaining those words are only for grown-ups; is in trouble almost every day in daycare for pulling hair, kicking boys in groin, pushing girls faces into carpet; trying to "kill" stuffed animals; has started to choke his sister when they are arguing or fighting; says he hates us when he gets in trouble and wants a new Dad; asks why his Dad is so mean (Dad yells a lot, gets very frustrated); says No to everything I ask him to do; and is very mean at times. At the same time, he can be so loving, wants hugs and kisses - and he gets them everytime and even when he doesn't ask for it.
I have a feeling this derived from bad parenting, but we desperately want to change that. I do not want this to affect him later in life. My husband already deals with Depression & Anxiety and I suffer from Rheumatoid Arthritis and Fibromyalgia. So we are a pill-popping family, sad to say. My son does have allergies, but nothing more than that. While I was pregnant, my husband was taking regular Paxil at the time, and my husband thinks he may have inherited some of the depression or something similar. Anyway, what kind of advice can you give??