First post here as i'm a newby so i'm not sure how to really explain my experience very clearly, but i'll do my best so that you should get a pretty uncomplicated idea of what happened and maybe be able to share some of your knowledge with me.
So on Saturday the 9th Dec 2006 i was 17 wks pregnant (1st pregnancy) and had had no worrying bleeding (except light spotting at 4 & 8 wks which the DR put down to implantation bleeding, as it was brownish in colour and considered old blood that may have just broken away from the uterus wall as the baby was implanting into the womb).
I woke at 4:30am when i felt a quick warm gush (very much like someone tipping a bucket of water on your crutch)..... definately didn't feel like a trickle, although i was asleep, however i am a light sleeper & usually know when i need to go to the toilet during the night.
So i jumped out of bed (at this stage thinking i had wet the bed) & went to the toilet and did a normal wee, which i thought was a bit strange, considering i had just wet the bed, but i just put it down to the baby possibly putting pressure on my bladder and me leaking a little bit. I then had a shower & when i was drying myself i noticed a drop of blood at my feet. I then wiped with toilet paper and there was a bit more (but a brownish colour), so i put a sanitary pad in my underwear and tried to go back to sleep, but i was still confused at the bed wetting thing. I tried not to worry too much about the bleeding at this point, cos as i mentioned earlier in my post, i had spotting early on in my pregnancy & was told that some ppl go their entire pregnancy with spotting & that given the times of my bleeds, i was probably only spotting when i would have normally gotten a period, so i didn't stress too much about it. Also it was brownish so i though it was not an issue unless it was red!
Anyhow..... this is going to go on for a while, so i hope you are all into reading short novels, as i'm a bit of a blabber queen and i tend to really describe everything in detail, so sorry if i frustrate any of you.... although i'm sure you're all very happy to help & also just read
So when i woke in the morning (Keeping in mind that i had had no cramps or anything following my bleeding) my pad had quite a bit of blood on it but it looked watered down and still a more browny colour and this is when it occurred to me that i may not have wet my bed, and that it could have actually been my waters breaking. SO i called the emergency centre & they called me in to listen for a heartbeat... & although the nurse said she thought she got a very quick listen to the heartbeat of the baby.... i wasn't convinced! Mothers instinct i guess!!! She said that i either have a very active bowel or a very athletic baby, as she thought it was moving around in there, not staying still and that's why she couldn't locate the heartbeat for a long period of time! She shouldn't have said anything really, cos she raised my hopes a little, although i did suspect something untoward was happening.
So from here she told me she'd contact my obstetrician and ask him if there was anything else she could do for me before she sent me home, and because there were 2 other patients that had the same obstetrician as me, he came in & did a scan with the screen (which apparently the nurses weren't qualified to use or something). This is when he said there was not much fluid around my baby and that it looked as though the sac had collapsed. I was devastated.... but sooo numb i couldn't cry! I just kept looking at his facial expression while he was looking at the screen, cos he hadn't actually said in that many words that my baby had died, but i could tell it had and i knew that without the sac with the fluid, my baby couldn't survive even if there was a heartbeat.
He then told me gently that there was an absent heartbeat & that my baby was in fact dead and that she (we found out following the examination after my D&C) didn't appear to be the normal size of a baby at 17 weeks, therefore he was quite sure that she had actually died a couple (4, maybe 5) wks ago, shortly after my 12 week NT scan (scan for down's syndrome).
I was then referred to a better equipped hospital (about an hours drive) for a D&C. When we arrived there i passed something as we were walking in the hospital doors and i knew it was my baby, so i asked to go straight through to a toilet, where i removed the baby from my underwear & placed her in a container. I didn't really look at her as such..... didn't examine her if you know what i mean, so when i gave the container to the nurse, i was still quite shocked & although i could make out that it was my baby.... i didn't actually take notice of her arms and legs (only her body & head). So as you can imagine i was a little dazed by this & feeling quite icky to say the least
Long story short... or as short as i can cut without depriving you guys of a good insight...... my husband & i decided to view the baby's body to give us some closure & also cos i was asking questions about whether she had legs & arms. So they brought her in (in a little tiny basket with a blanket), and gave us some time with her. At this stage we didn't know her sex tho.... we actually thought it was a boy which is quite sad, as we kind of said our goodbye's to her as tho she was a boy and that hurts!!! Saying goodbye helped tho..... & the fact that i could see her perfect fingers & toes and that she actually did have legs & arms & facial features was comforting!!! I would have refretted not viewing her, as i would have only had that one image in my head, of when i put her in the container in the toilet cubicle.
So to finish off, (i don't know how ppl can keep a post to 5 or 6 lines, cos i'm writing a novel here), i had a D&C to remove the other products of conception (which was my placenta & a blood clot) and was sent home the following morning as the operation went fine!
Now for my questions tho.... i've been festering all week trying to determine why (when the baby is thought to have died at 13 weeks gestation), did i not get any bleeding until 17 weeks? And also why i didn't get any cramping or other signs of miscarriage (not that i'm complaining as my heart goes out to those who have had painful miscarriages). I'm so confused as the only time that i can remember having bad cramps (so bad in fact, that i had to clutch my lower tummy and was in quite a bit of pain in bed), was at 15 weeks.... but thought it was indigestion as it started after my evening meal and was quite high up in my chest initially & moved down lower as the night progressed, and it wasn't until my last 2 weeks (from 15-17 wks) that i started showing/growing.
Not sure why i didn't seek doctors help when i got my cramps, but i did not see any concern as there was no bleeding or anything else to suggest i was miscarrying and also the pain was gone by the next morning anyway. Has anyone else experienced this (having no cramps/minor cramps & no bleeding initially???) Also has anyone else experienced their waters breaking that long after the death of their baby.....(Somewhere around 4-5 wks after???) Also, i'm confused at how my baby could have died at 13 wks without my body recognising this and giving some kind of sign. I carried my dead baby inside me for 4 or 5 wks thinking she was fine.... waiting so eagerly for my next scan to see how big she had gotten..... and then this!!!
I can't understand why my sac was still growing, without my baby being alive..... but the only thing i can think of, is that my body didn't regognise this straight away & it wasn't until my sac recognised that there wasn't a baby big enough to accomodate it..... that it decided to terminate and abort my pregnancy (and this is when my waters broke.... when i thought i'd wet the bed)! Not too sure tho..... i might sound clued on at the moment, but i'm really just numb & although i sound as though i might be onto something with that thought, i've just had time to think & it's basically all that's been running through my head for the past 7 days.
I will finish now though, as you're probably all asleep anyhow, but i do hope that this post has helped some of you & that some can relate to it & also i hope that some of you can give me some guidance or some answers in some form
Thanks for reading/listening and hope to hear from you all soon