Re: ???? what the hell???????, long-sannah please read!
wow thanks for replying so quick. you are correct in saying i have no idea what im doing or what i want to do. i want to be norma and to feel normally-so thats why i think logically, do something that everone should be able to=feel something everybody feels or should feel. but it wont work, its so hard. i just push as hard as i can but can only go so far.
about this before-yep ive done it before but not an allnighter kinda thing and never with someone i knew well-usually just randoms from clubs and stuff.
i dont understand what you mean when you say-maybe i get freaked out when he touches my stomach because it isnt a sexual body part and therfore i feel its a vunerable part-i thought it not being sexual would have meant the oposite-thats why im confused. you would think that being felt up were it happened before with the molester would be more traumatic than someone just gently stroking my stomach-doesnt make sense does it?? it makes me question if my molestation is serious??? the only thing i can think of is he used to make me pull my top up and stuff-could that be why???
your so right about rhe fear of inmtamacy. ive always either pciked much older guys, those who arent my type or got really close to a gay freind-someone i know i wont end up with. the fact that i know this nice guy mat end up asking me out freaks me out to no end. i was afraid when he said the word'couple'. what do you think-should i ask my doctor about this?? could she help or would it just be weird?? how can i 'like' intamacy-cs forcing doesnt work, i feel nothing and it backfires on me. xox
My hands are small
But theyre not yours, they
are my own
But theyre not yours,
they are my own
And i am never broken