Originally Posted by anon246
I want to be the best I can be, but my weaknesses always get in the way. I wish had someone there to just keep me on track with all my goals. I want to depend on myself but I don't even trust myself anymore. I can't keep up with anything. My will power is gone. There's no point to life for me, not anymore.
And I have identity problems I guess. Most of the decisions I make are based on what other people think. I don't want anyone to have a problem with me.
Hi Anon, I remember your posts from the anxiety and the anger boards. Are you in therapy? Sounds like you cannot depend on your friends or family for talking. Therapy would really be helpful.
Running your life with an eye for what others think is just giving control of your life over to others. Sounds like your identity problems could be because you are gay and it is hard for you to accept this? Starting counseling with someone who can help you with this would be very helpful. Have you tried to contact any gay organizations?
Do you have too many goals in your life right now so you are overloading yourself? Or maybe you are just slipping into the hole and you are just focusiing on clawing your way out so it is hard to focus on anything else? Again, counseling can really help you to get yourself back on track.
Your fear of going out and your thoughts about having to do certain things sound anxiety related. Again, counseling can help with this.