04-01-2007, 07:38 PM
Senior Member (female)
Join Date: Mar 2007
Re: Age Appropriate Chores, Rules, Allowance...
Originally Posted by Seraph48
I won't get into the questionnaire thing, everyone has different ideas about all that stuff. The thing is, whatever you decide, the trick is going to be maintaining and reinforcing it over the months. You have realised by now that your kid can hold out over the parental moaning indefinitely, she will be in hre teens and will never have responded to this. I found this and wondered I still thought it would work. The best way is to settle in for the long term, take the disciplinary approach out of the equation and set the AGREEMENT: I (kid) agree that I will complete the agreed chores, follow the agreed rules or there will be consequences. These consequences will happen without fail. They are: I will lose any privileges granted as a result of my doing my chores
I will not receive allowances promised as a result of my doing my chores. Translate this to fact, never deviate, and this will eventually work. I have seen it happen. No yelling, no punishments, just make an agreement that any privileges, money she receives is conditional on her keeping her side of the agreement. AND STICK TO IT. If she doesn't stick to it, well you are not beating or starving her, just have her accept the consequences. It is up to her, and I she whines, well that is still up to her. It takes a bit of dedication but it will teach her that SHE is responsible for earning reward or consequences. Warn her each time tho, kids do get absent-minded."Honey, you need to clean up your stuff now to keep your pocket money for today", Then let it go. If she doesn't do it, gently explain again about her agreement.
Actually, that wasn't a questionnaire. They were just examples of things I needed people to help implement. It didn't have to be those exact things. Also, I have no problem setting rules, sticking to what I said, disciplining... I already know how to handle that. Like I said, there's story there that isn't being told, and it has nothing to with me being like one of them spineless mothers that let there heathens run around like a bunch of spoiled demon brats. I thought if some people could help me get these glitches worked out & in stone, the other part of the problem could get better. I know you're probably confused, but I'm just not gonna go there right now.