View Single Post
Old 05-22-2007, 04:32 AM   #4
marie72 marie72 is offline
Senior Member
(female)
 
Join Date: Mar 2007
Location: USA
Posts: 176
marie72 HB User
Re: What to do? I Could REALLY use some advice....

Been through similar situation. It's a crazy household, no peace, right?? I finally had to get him out when he started using the children to scare me. I could take all the stuff he did to me, but once he started to use the children as his scare tatics that was it. You can go to the local family court and speak with a counselor, they will tell you if you have enough for a petition to get him out. If your case is not strong enough then they will warn you that this will further agitate him, so be careful. In my case, the Judge said my petition had all red flags and because of all the recent wife killings, the judges are very careful with domestic violence. Also, go to the local women's shelter, they have domestic voilence counselors and also attorneys free of charge if you qualify, if not they will still speak with you and advise you. Make sure that he doesn't suspect anything because by the time I realized what mine was doing he had taken all the funds we had and cut me off completely financially. I did have a job that he wanted me to quit, at the time I didn't know why but now I see that he wanted me to have nothing, so I would have to put up with his abuse. Stay strong and once you head that way....out of the relationship...be careful not to let him back in your life....that could be dangereous even if you think he's being nice or changed for the better, it's his way of manipulating you. Don't fall for the suicide trick either, mine went out of his way and wrote at least 8 suicide notes to the children, family, friends...all with photos...pyschologist said it was all to make me feel guilty, another abuse tatic. And don't worry about what other's think, focus on yourself and the children, mine destroyed all my relationships with my family, friends, neighbors, but I am in a better place now....a peaceful home for my children!