Re: Living in the past?
Toffee and VRay,
I don't know what you're religious views are, but I have gone through the same. I lost my son to drugs and my daughter has a child out of wedlock. I blame their problems on my screwed up life as their mother. I was insecure as a young adult, and married a very hot tempered man. I withdrew from the world.
Looking back on things makes me very sad, because so many things could have been avoided if I had sought help. I now have to see it this way:
My son has been removed from the awful, depressing life he was in, and his death has led him to unbelievable joy with God. That gives me joy.
My granddaughter is a joy for me. Her birth filled a hole in our hearts. My daughter is going through struggles, but I see each day as one more she has survived. We hit such rock bottom, the only way to look was up.
I can't let the past hold me from being strong and helping my daughter and granddaughter through today. It's only through God that I have the strength to hold them. It was a topic we discussed at church this morning. When we dwell in our depressing pasts it takes any possible joy out of today. I can't express the relief it gives me to know I can lean on God, and feel the relief He gives.
I know it may sound silly or offensive to anyone who doesn't believe in God, but there is no other way for me to survive. When I get depressed, miss my son or worry about my daughter, I have to remember to ask God to give me the strength to step out of depression right now.
I took paxil for about 2 years, and I'm not denying that anti-depressants help tremendously. If anyone who reads this is on anti-depressants, I think it's a good thing that you sought help. But it takes God to help me still see some joy in life. A support group at my church opened my eyes to many other people's problems, and helped me deal with many of my own.
God and prayer are the best relief for me. I will say a prayer right now for both of you.