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Old 06-07-2007, 12:29 PM   #5
Hayley22 Hayley22 is offline
Senior Member
(female)
 
Join Date: Jun 2007
Location: York
Posts: 104
Hayley22 HB User
Re: need a friend to chat with

Hi, everyone, thankyou for your replies - I was sexually abused by my grandfather from age 5 to 11 and my mum divorced my dad and got with a very violent man from when I was 7 up until 18 when I moved out to be in this relationship that I am in.

Although I have come along way I have so many problems to do with my past like low self - confidence always questioning myself about things like when talking to someone on phone always feel like I have said something wrong when I most likely havn't. I don't trust anyone anymore because most of the people in my life have let me down 1 way or another.

I am with a 35- year-old man called James who is a really nice man other than he has anger problems he is never violent towards me or anyone but he is extremely verbally abusive and not really understanding. He never relaxes and therefore puts me on edge all the time and his way of life differs from mine I am a private person whereas he has lived in the same town and the same house all his life and knows almost everyone he is sociable I am just not like he is I feel pressured because so many people know him and you can't walk down the street without been stopped millions of times and people saying hiya to you and chatting and you have no idea who they are. We have other differences like I am younger and need to grow he has more experience than me and of course I will make mistakes but he just gets angry at me for things very little things.

We argue so much because I try to defend myself against the way he speaks to me or if I think he has said something that is wrong but he turns it into an argument because he wont listen to my feelings just calls me boring, uninteresting and walks out when I am trying to discuss our relationship and ask him why he has been so arragant towards me - he once walked off after shouting and swearing at me leaving me 30+weeks pregnant with my 2nd child and our daughter in front of our good friends walking because I had been looking at house prices and gave his number to contact us and he didnt want me to so instead of calmly discussing it just lashed out at me for it.

There are so many other things but mainly that he shouts, swears, and then doesn't listen to my feelings, tries to blame me for it on the other hand when he isn't been like that he helps out alot in house, and is a fantastic dad but we are having problems because I am thinking of leaving and have told him and his reply was if your going p off then just feel scared to leave thats all.

Thankyou so much for listening

Hayley x