Thread: Brothers died
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Old 06-21-2007, 07:52 AM   #5
jujubeez725 jujubeez725 is offline
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Re: Brothers died

Quote:
Originally Posted by Justine955 View Post
I have always been quite a depressed person, but a couple of months ago my wonderful younger brother was killed by an idiot in a van on his motorbike. This was absolutely devastating for my family as we are such a close family. i did have a lot of support from my usually tepremental boyfriend which helped a lot but recently my dad has bough me and my boyfriend a place to live in september when i go to uni, which im already nervous about leaving my family. i though the one and only good thing that came out of my brothers death is the fact that my boyfriend had stopped being so horrible and realised theres more important things to stress about. But recently he's started being totally unreasonable and horrible to me again and i just feel as though every time something starts to go right, it all just goes terribly wrong again but worse. i cant split up with him as he's the only person who makes me feel happy again and i really love him and he loves me, he just gets so wound up sometimes. Sometimes he doesn't seem to care though, however upset i am. I just cant cope with my family falling apart and the stress of moving away from them with someone who can be utterly foul to me. But i have no choice, i just wish he could be more considerate and less touchy as its making me wish i was dead. What should i do, how can i make him respect me and be nice to me again?
I agree w/Stick, Bonne and Trackerck.

First and above all, you need to be able to continue to grieve the loss of your brother.
You do NOT need to be around anyone that is abusive, non-supportive, selfish, and non-caring. That is what you absolutely DON'T need.

Furthermore, don't move anywhere with your current boyfriend. You need to move AWAY from him.

But i have no choice, i just wish he could be more considerate and less touchy as its making me wish i was dead. What shoud i do, how can i make him respect me and be nice to me again?

You have a choice -- leave him. You can't do anything to make him more "considerate and less touchy". He's being that way for whatever reason and there's no ONE THING you can do about it. You also can not make him respect you or be nice to you.

Work through your grief. He does NOT understand what you're going through and he can NOT understand it unless he has gone through it or goes through it himself; and you don't want anyone to have to endure that feeling.

You need to separate yourself from him because he only makes things worse.